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2023 – Is This Your Year of Destiny?

2023 – Is This Your Year of Destiny?

A new year… but is that a new year for your destiny or a new destiny for you? Well, what is destiny? The problem in reflecting on one’s destiny is the tendency to be all or nothing in approach. Is individual destiny really that linear, that simple, considering the complexity of the human life journey?

I venture to say that one’s destiny is a journey to be uncovered and discovered, one step at a time. An initial review of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary resource (2022) could lead to an all or nothing conclusion regarding the meaning of the word destiny, that of destiny being predetermined, like one’s fate. However, further exploration reveals that one’s belief regarding destiny is an aspect to consider in the meaning of the word. As a mental health therapist as well as an educator, this makes sense to me. Belief about the amount of control one can exert over daily life determines expectations of self and others, and ultimately determines the amount of control one believes is possible to exert over one’s individual destiny (Boden, John, Goldin, Werner, Heimberg, & Gross, 2012).  There are a multiplicity of factors capable of influencing perceptions, beliefs, expectations, and choices, as behavioral economist and Duke university professor, Dan Ariely, points out in the TedTalk, “Are We in Control of Our Own Decisions?” (2014). Perception ≠ Reality in all cases and situations.  In reality, we can be manipulated and our “eyes can play tricks” on us. Things are not always what they appear to be.

If the belief is that fate determines destiny, then what use is it to do much of anything to exert control over what happens in life? That is an extreme view, but believe it or not, this is what is at play in the unexplored belief system of some, maybe many. That is fatalism, “a doctrine that events are fixed in advance so that human beings are powerless to change them; alsoa belief in or attitude determined by this doctrine” (Merriam-Webster, Incorporated, 2022b, para 1). 

There are a multiplicity of factors capable of influencing perceptions, beliefs, expectations, and choices, as behavioral economist and Duke university professor, Dan Ariely, points out in the TedTalk, “Are We in Control of Our Own Decisions?” (2014). Perception ≠ Reality in all cases and situations. Things are not always what they appear. Such is the complexity of our life’s journey. However, it all counts, all the twists and turns of each individual life’s journey weave together to create a unique tapestry, our own unique and individual life’s journey. Some wanted, some not welcome, some causing the deepest angst, some bringing joy. It’s all there. It all counts. It’s all part of the unique life path which our existence created.

In reality, the true fate of the human condition is that we can be either self-limiting, unaware of possibilities, fearful of change, or fearful of failure to meet our own or others’ expectations, and thus fail to plan and take effective action toward a positive outcome. Or we can accept our place in the universe and take the challenge.

How comfortable are you – really -- in being accountable for your own actions and holding an inherent measure of control over your individual life’s journey? What are the possibilities if you are? Think about it. 2023. A new year. A new destiny? Or a new opportunity to determine your destiny?

References

Boden, M.T., John, O.P., Goldin, P.R., Werner, K., Heimberg, R.G., and Gross, J.J. (2012). The role of maladaptive beliefs in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Evidence from Social Anxiety Disorder. Behavior Research and Therapy, 50(5), 287-291.

Merriam-Webster, Incorporated (2022a). Destiny. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/destiny

Merriam-Webster, Incorporated (2022b). Fatalism. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fatalism

TedTalks (2014, February 24). Dan Ariely - Are we in control of our own decisions? [Video]. YouTube. https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_ariely_are_we_in_control_of_our_own_decisions?language=en

Posted: 01/04/2023
Updated: 02/10/2023 by Dr. Ruth L.M. Burkhart, DNP, MA, RN-BC, LPCC
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